What's that you say? You're a doctor/sanitation worker/teacher/farmer and you need to get up ridiculously early every morning? Say... 4:30 a.m.? EVERY. DAY.
Have I got a bargain for you!
For a very low price (so low we can't even mention it here) you can have this:
(see... she even handles the paperwork!)
It's the Vivi-matic 3000! Wakes you up persistently and reliably every single morning at 4:30 on the dot! And she comes with these amazing features!
- No pesky snooze buttonn to tempt you into oversleeping!
- Escalating volume ensures you will eventually awake, no matter how sound a sleeper you are!
- Bonus good-morning diaper included on random occasions for extra surprise fun!
- Also acts as a weight-loss aid by demanding 1/2 of your breakfast no matter what you put in her bowl!
To order this amazing product, call me. Price negotiable. Free express delivery!