Wednesday, March 11, 2009

For Sale...or Trade... Hell, I'll pay YOU.

Hey there! Yes, you! Step right up for the DEAL OF THE CENTURY!

What's that you say? You're a doctor/sanitation worker/teacher/farmer and you need to get up ridiculously early every morning? Say... 4:30 a.m.? EVERY. DAY.

Have I got a bargain for you!

For a very low price (so low we can't even mention it here) you can have this:

(see... she even handles the paperwork!)

It's the Vivi-matic 3000! Wakes you up persistently and reliably every single morning at 4:30 on the dot! And she comes with these amazing features!

  • No pesky snooze buttonn to tempt you into oversleeping!

  • Escalating volume ensures you will eventually awake, no matter how sound a sleeper you are!

  • Bonus good-morning diaper included on random occasions for extra surprise fun!

  • Also acts as a weight-loss aid by demanding 1/2 of your breakfast no matter what you put in her bowl!

To order this amazing product, call me. Price negotiable. Free express delivery!

1 comment:

ccw said...

LOL! It's funny just how true this is.