Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I'm going to catch hell from someone for this...

As a parent-to-be, I know it’s dangerous to say “I will NEVER (insert parental action here) to my kids!” Like “I will NEVER call the Wiggles a God-awful band of narcissistic merchandising whores in front of my kids!” Wait… that’s probably a poor example. I can’t even pretend I have any intention of honoring that one.
We’ve all heard parents proclaim their high ideals for handling the wee lil’ buggers- only to find later that the wicked realities of parenthood are undoing their good intentions. Live and learn and then give them the damn binkie.
But I am willing to put this declaration of parental policy on record with the Internet because we all know that’s about as good as telling God herself.
I.WILL. NEVER. PIERCE. MY. BABY’S. EARS.
Got that? Never. Ever. Not in a million bazillion years. What the hell kind of parent does that to a baby? Most of the mothers and fathers I know leave those first pediatrician’s visits in tears themselves after their little one cries and cries with every immunization. It’s agonizing to see their baby in pain, but you do what you have to do to prevent them from… oh, DYING. And yet some of those same parents will hop up on a chair in a boutique at the mall to inflict an even thicker needle in an even more sensitive part of the body on their kiddo FOR VANITY. And not even the kid’s own chosen expression of vanity- their own screwed up superficial bullshit need to make their already perfect child “cute”. Why this form of abuse (yes, I said it, abuse) is even legal, I do not know. I’m sorry, but punching holes in your child’s body with no anesthesia for no damn good reason is an awful thing to do. You have to squelch the urge to clobber that kid at playgroup who pinches them, but you’ll do this to them on purpose? For shits and giggles?
Pierce your own ears but leave that poor baby alone. She'll want to do it on her own soon enough anyway- then you can say "I told you so" when she cries. I know it's delayed gratification, but that should be enough to satisfy the Barbie-sadist parents, right?
Yeesh.

5 comments:

Lawyer Mama said...

I have to say I'm with you on this one. Plus what happens when the 2 year olds have a smack down at playgroup and one gets ripped out? OUCH!

Suburban Hostage said...

They have plenty of crevices to clean. Why add two more? Let them do it themselves when they are old enough to care for it.

Anyway, it makes them look trashy. Yes, I said it. I ain't scared. AND, I just took a personality test which confirmed that I am too judgmental.

Sarah G said...

I agree, modifying (aka mutilating) a child's body for the parents' vanity without the child's consent is morally AND legally problematic. However, I ask, isn't circumcision the same thing? Modifying/mutilating a child's body for future vanity (with the exception of religious circumstances)? Now... for all you out there who may say, "But the new research says it is better!" I offer the following argument...

The new research says that uncircumcised men can more easily pass infections (mostly yeast, bv, etc) to female partners. However, this is prevented by proper hygiene of the glans (in other words, wash your penises men!). Similarly, in Africa initial studies have shown circumcised men may have a SLIGHTLY smaller chance of passing HIV to female partners. Again, this is easily prevented by CONDOMS. And shouldn't we be teaching young men to use condoms ALWAYS? -Not giving them a new excuse, "I'm circumcised, baby. I can't give you anything."

Know Husband disagrees with Sister-In-Law-Friend on this one, but really... think about it. Why not let boys be given the option of circumcision at a consentual age that includes discussions of benefits and costs?

Lady Liberal said...

Whew! Thought I was going to get crucified on this one...
Sarah G (who is my sister, for purposes of full disclosure) and I agree on the circumcision thing. I won't have it done on any children I have. But I think the parental motives (even if the newer research contradicts them) for circumcision are usually more pure for that procedure. I think most parents perceive that as a healthier choice and aren't motivated by vanity. (Well... maybe the men are a little bit... :))

Aye Davanita said...

My ears were pierced when I was a few months old by my GRANDMOTHER, at home, with a SEWING NEEDLE AND THREAD! Same thing with my mom and my sisters. (I'm 31 yrs old so it's not like it was before they had the piercing guns) For some reason, this was just a common thing to do in my family. Granted, I don't remember any of it and I don't regret that it was done to me. But when I had my daughter and it was "assumed" she would be doing the same thing to her. It wasn't until then that I realized there was something seriously wrong with that. So I agree with you completely.