Friday, August 22, 2008

OMG ppl i suck

My child? She crawls. And claps her hands. And bobs her head to music.
But dear GOD… the CRAWLING. The cat now lives in a constant state of fear. My house looks like we’re preparing for flood waters with everything elevated and such. And I think someone should have told me that children develop the urge to stick little pointer fingers in electrical outlets VERY VERY EARLY.

In non-baby-related news, it has recently come to my attention that I’m the only living person who can’t bear to use text message abbreviations and lingo. I am physically and psychologically incapable of hitting the “send” button on something that only vaguely resembles the English language in written form. I blame college. Pesky college! I earned a BA in English only after living through courses like Advanced Grammar in which Dr. Sadist had us DIAGRAM THE PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION. It’s clear to me now that I didn’t really need that course to successfully write for a living. The only real purpose could have been to instill in me a phobia of modern linguistic shorthand and a crippling inability to relax where sentence structure is concerned.
But seriously… my text messages? They contain semi-colons where appropriate and capital letters and completely spelled-out words and entirely too much information for what should be an abbreviated form of communication. Let’s look at an example:
A normal human’s text message:
“r u @ work?”
Lauren’s text message:
“Are you at work or at home? If you’re at home, call me, please.”
*SIGH*
I’m well aware that I am unforgivably anal retentive and geeky.

3 comments:

ymp said...

The challenge of tapping out full sentences and my inability to resort to the non-english short-hand are the reasons I don't text.
And just wait until she starts pulling herself up. Flood water preparations won't be enough.

ccw said...

Crawling? Wasn't she just born?

I also have trouble sending a text without using the correct words. At really gets me b/c you can type "at" just as fast or faster than @. I'm slow at texting and it's probably because I have to use punctuation and proper spelling.

Sarahlynn said...

"But seriously… my text messages? They contain semi-colons where appropriate and capital letters and completely spelled-out words and entirely too much information for what should be an abbreviated form of communication."

Me too!!!

And don't tell me about it, but my NEW BABY starts "preschool" next week (Kids Day Out, but it's at a preschool), tells me when she's going poo poo in her diaper, can make all the animal sounds, and speaks in sentences sometimes. Sheesh. Wasn't I just pregnant 5 minutes ago?