Be blessed. Or else.

Living in the South, you come to terms with a couple of things:
1. There is but one kind of tea. It’s iced, it’s sweet, and it should come with a wedge of lemon, nothing else.
2. The city will shut down completely at the first HINT of frozen precipitation of any kind.
3. ANY food can be fried- chicken, okra, oreos... Just try us…
4. Religious reference can and will be worked into every kind of polite conversation. (And the Lord’s name often gets worked into impolite ones.)

#4 is my current amusement. Coworker Wally and I have taken to bidding each other farewell with “Have a blessed day/evening/one!” People ‘round these here parts (hee hee!) just love telling people to have a blessed day as they depart. It’s like “see ya later” in other parts of the country or “ciao” in Italy. Most folks will offer this phrase as a congenial sendoff, but some people are a little more adamant. Case in point is our building’s night guard who pretty much orders you to “HAVE A BLESSED ONE!” as you head out the door. It’s kind of scary- almost like you’d damn well better have a blessed one (one of what she never specifies) or she will track you down and taser your ass into beatification.

At any rate, Wally and I like using the idea of telling people to have a blessed something for the sheer entertainment value. Neither of us is particularly outwardly religious and frankly we’re both good candidates for a sound smiting should the Almighty find herself in the area. Suffice to say, we would be the last people picked for the company evangelization team. Come time for a drinking…er, I mean, bowling league, though, we are SO in!

Wally and I recently took our crusade for blessedness to a new level by pulling our Director into the act. We’ll call her Dorothy Director, or DD for brevity’s sake. DD is a tough New Yorker and a good Catholic. She’s a great person and has a pretty good sense of humor, but is so NOT the type to either evangelize publicly or to engage in blatantly irreverent humor in the workplace. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not uptight per se, but she is a very good model of professional decorum. She’s wished Wally a “blessed day” a few times after I egged her on incessantly, but yesterday…

(On a departmental planning call- our first contact since the holidays.)

DD: Hello Wally! Did you have a good Christmas? A good New Years?

Wally: We did, thanks! It was very very nice. How was yours?

DD: It was blessed.

*THUNK* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! (Sound of me hitting the floor laughing hysterically.)