Wednesday, January 17, 2007

It's National Delurking Week!

What does this mean, you ask? Well, if you are a “lurker,” now is the time to post a comment and “come out” as a reader of my blog!

This is the part where my Dad and some other folks say “what’s a lurker?” A lurker is exactly what the name implies- someone who “lurks” out there reading your blog but never commenting. Lurking is fine, I suppose. I mean, it’s legal in most states. But… *sniff*… it doesn’t show me any love!

So, there you have it. I’m being a needy bitch and calling on my readers (all three of them) to delurk themselves and let me know you’re out there. Show me some love and I’ll post pictures of my naked boobs! Ha! So that’s a lie! (And believe me, you’re better off for it… the boobs, they are sad.)

But just now, when I talked about my boobs on the Internet, my Mom made the I-raised-you-better-than-that noise. It goes something like this: a quick clicking little “tsk”, followed by a short impatient sigh, and then your name with one of the syllables VERY emphasized.

So, for instance, if you were my sister Tallulah*…

“tsk- *sigh*- Ta-LLU-lah!”

To do this correctly, you shouldn’t raise your voice one bit. In fact, it’s most effective when performed at a muttering volume. It’s her way of saying that we haven’t done anything wrong, per se, nothing she could actually be mad about or yell at us for doing. But we have been crass and she can’t actually laugh at us (because she’s the MOM, people, the MOM!), but secretly she thinks it’s funny. That’s the awful quandary my Mother finds herself in a lot of the time… her daughters are HILARIOUS- the kind of hilarious that’s great for an HBO comic, but concerns her a little coming from her offspring. She wants to laugh, but she also wants some reassurance that we know better and would conduct ourselves differently in the presence of others.

And we allow her that little delusion… you know, that we would conduct ourselves differently… we are her life’s work, after all.

Now get to delurking!

*Names, as always, changed to protect the not-so-innocent.


Anonymous said...

Okay, I've "delurked!? Aren't you proud of me. Your blog cracks me up. :)

Anonymous said...

Okay, I've "delurked!" Aren't you proud of me?

:) Amanda P.

Mac said...

Here I am, officially delurking.

Look at me lurk.

mollyh said...

I am officially delurktified. I see I am your only truly faithful follower, the rest of them should be ashamed:)!

G said...

I just stopped by for the first time but will return! Good writing here and I love vodka tonics myself, could drink them every day till I passed out, but unfortunately they might take my kids away for that. :0