Friday, July 25, 2008

Natural Selection

We have an automatic shower cleaner in the master bath. The other day Husband noticed that on the back of the cleaning solution bottle, it says “NOT A BODY WASH”.
..um…
Took me a few minutes to compose myself after that one because you know… they wouldn’t HAVE to put that warning on there unless….yes, unless some mouth-breather actually washed in the stuff and peeled away several valuable layers of skin.
Look, I have an eight-month-old baby, which any parent will tell you is the equivalent of having a frontal lobotomy. I certainly don’t profess to be the brightest match in the box. Hell, in the last three weeks I have put the cereal away in the freezer, tried to unlock my car doors with a Baby Einstein radio, and worn my shirt inside out to the grocery. Clearly my mental acuity ain’t what it used to be.
But seriously? Seems some things should be relatively obvious.
Another case in point- the Today show had a big expose, the gist of which was this… in summer, stuff on a playground gets really really hot.
Again... um...
Dear readers, raise your hand if you’ve ever singed your derriere on a slide? All of you? Ok, hands down. And now who has ever given themselves a nifty cattle brand by letting their upper thigh bump into the chain on the swing? Everyone again? Gee, go figure… All right, who has ever stepped out onto hot pavement barefoot only to go hopping back to the bench like a meth addict Easter bunny? Wow- EVERY LIVING PERSON WHO HAD AN AMERICAN CHILDHOOD?
So tell me, then, how it is that we now require a full-scale “investigation” and we need cities to do something about the hazards of hot playgrounds? The Today story featured a little boy who had burnt the bottoms of his feet on those recycled rubber squares used as playground padding. Because he was allowed to go barefoot. In the middle of summer. On a CITY PLAYGROUND. Where the hello kitty were his parents? I mean, I’m all for experiential learning, but I’m not sure third degree burns are developmentally appropriate teaching tools.

5 comments:

Erin & Rick said...

This reminds me of an incident at work. I was reading the back of the Lysol disinfecting wipes, and there is a warning that states "not for cleaning or sanitizing skin. Do not use as a diaper wipe or for personal cleansing".

.....

Which you KNOW means that someone thought they'd be super smart and wipe their ass with one of those things. Or even better yet, their poor child's ass. WTF???

Granny G. said...

The week I was in Pittsburgh the local news channel did I piece about a "government study" which determined that "children need to play". Who knew!! Ladies and gentlemen, your tax dollars at work.

granny g said...

and never mine the tutu - that is one perfect, adorable, sweet, precious kid! And I am not in the last bit biased. It is just a fact - I have beautiful children and grandchildren!

ccw said...

I guess the beach house we rented should have had a sign warning about the sand being hot during the heat of the day. We all burnt our feet; I think someone should investigate.

Sarahlynn said...

We actually had a terrible incident here last month where - at 10:00 in the morning - a little kid went to slide down a slide at the park, one of those dark green plastic ones so common in modern upscale playground. The slide was so hot that he got third degree burns wherever he'd touched the plastic (in the morning! plastic! not metal!) that he lost a LOT of skin, including most of the skin on the palms of his hands, and had to be hospitalized for quite a while.

As a parent . . . I've sure plopped my kids on plastic slides I haven't tested.

--spoilsport