What's the HCPCS code on a junkache?

Husband: “GAAAAAAH!!!”
Me: “What? What??”
Husband: “The baby head-butted me in the junk!”
Me: “Oh… is that all.”
Husband: “ALL? It hurts! My junk hurts! I have a junkache! Do they make a medicine for that?”
Me: “Yes, it’s called suck-it-up-ital.”
Husband: “Nice, thanks for your compassion.”
Me: “Seriously? That head came OUT OF MY VAGINA. You want sympathy for a little love tap?”


Viv is also teething, so you can only imagine the context in which I referred to her as the Ambassador of Abstinence. To which Husband shot back:
“I thought that was Pat Robertson…"